Noah

I just watched Noah(2014) and I quite liked it. I actually found it more entertaining than Thor. Spoiler alert.

Compared to the Bible

Movie Noah was much more personal. I could feel his struggle. I could clearly see the drive behind this faithful man. His complete devotion to what he thought his creator wanted him to do. Even if it meant killing his entire family and letting all his fellow humans to drown in pain. Movie Noah was much more interesting as a character than Bible Noah ever was. I could fall asleep reading mass extermination by an almighty creator if it was in the bible. Put in on the silver screen and make things personal. Now you've got my attention.

Fallen Angels to the Rescue

Ready to help humans. Even if it meant going against The Creator’s words. “I’m totally helping them against your will.” Totally bad-ass. All of them falling to earth. The visuals were great. They were very...human, too. Them going up against a hoard of humans. After they see that when one of them dies, The Creator forgives them and takes them back up to heaven, they can’t wait to die and return home. They go all out berserk, willing to kill thousands of other sentient creations. They are oh so willing to commit genocide if it means they can get a pie of that divine pie.

Tubal-Cain the Bad-ass

He’s brave enough to shit on The Creator’s breakfast. He is governed by his will and not the heavens. He has an ego matching the size of The Creator’s and he’s not afraid to call his shit sandwich a shit sandwich. He does what he can with what he’s got. He doesn't wait for some all powerful to do something for him. He just goes out and does it. If he fails. So be it. He is Man.

Noah the Faithful

The Creator has shown Noah that Man has been corrupted. He must be exterminated. He must be eradicated from the face of this world. And there must be a new start. A start without Man. And who is responsible for all the innocent? Noah is. A fellow Man must lead all the animals to a safe haven by building an Ark. Noah, of course being a faithful Man says, “Yesireeee”. Halfway through building the Ark; “I am also Man. My family, too. We are not exactly free of sin. We have our corrupted ways. Does that mean we must perish along with our fellow Mans, too?” He concludes; “Yes. We are no different. We are to carry out God’s commands and die along with our fellow corrupted human brothers and sisters.” He arrives to this conclusion and tells it to his wife. Epic. One of the best scenes in the entire movie.

Noah’s Family the Weaklings

Noah tells all his family members that they will all have to die. They freak out. “Shit I don’t want to die.” Hermione screams. “What about the babies!” they say. “Fuck the babies. They’re coming, too. I will personally see to it. No human being shall ever roam the face of this earth after the punishment is over.” Noah growls. At this point I am in awe of Noah, and the rest of the family members look like fucking pussies. You are so scared of Death that you would go against God’s will? What happened to heaven? Ain't it up there? Shouldn't you be glad that he’s taking you up there? What exactly are you afraid of? At least Hermione had some sympathy for all her fellow humans drowning right outside the Ark. Good gal, Emily. She wanted to help them. Noah said no. End of story.

What would have made Noah even more epic?

If Noah had the balls enough to kill his entire family member like he originally planned to. Or if he had gone directly against God’s will and saved the entire human race by building the biggest damn Ark any entity has seen. Or if he had straight up accused God of extermination of an entire planet teeming with life. I can totally see Bad-ass Noah going “God wants me to save the animals and allow the murder of millions of my fellow brothers and sisters. To hell with that. He can do the dirty work himself. I ain't saving anything, and if it is his will for Man to be wiped off the face of this world then so be it. I shall perish along with my fellow humans. This would have made for some epic scenes.

What if I was in Noah’s Situation?

I would question authority and if the authority turned out to be shit I’d do my best to go against it.

“Why would you do this God? Why would you kill all of them? is it really necessary? Killing off millions or even billions of sentient creatures. How could you be that angry? And do we even need to start all over again? Are you sure you can’t fix it? What, you mean you’re not omnipotent? You seriously saying I need to build an Ark to save all of the animal kingdom and yet exclude the most sentient creatures? Yes, I know they've gotten greedy and out of control but we’re just kids. Can’t you teach us better? Well, maybe you should fucking try harder. No, God, I ain't doing it. I can’t just let my brother and sisters die in front of me while I ride off into the sunset. I, unlike you, have empathy. I, unlike you, don’t just give up when my kids or friends don’t listen to me. Oh, you say you’re going to flood the entire world? Fine. Knock yourself out. I’m either going to save my fellow humans or die trying. I might be foolish to try and go up against you God but at least I won’t be a prick like you are. At least I’ll keep my humanity.” I’d drop the mic, and start telling everyone I know what God intends to do. I’ll start building the Ark. Get everyone on it. Build multiple Arks. If people don’t listen. If they don’t believe me. I’d still try my best to make their Ark for them. If God decides to flush us out right after the mic is dropped then so be it. At least I kept my integrity. At least I kept my ability to empathize. At least I was brave enough to defy Dickbag Almighty. At least I’d still be Man, and not a genocidal wussy.

Eager to Kiss Authority's Ass

We humans seem to be eager. Eager to kiss Authorities ass. We have a habit of getting on our knees and pleading for mercy for a bigger pie or for someone not to take our pie. We are eager to get down on our knees and kiss the Almighty’s feet. We’d gladly shove our fellow sentient entities under the bus if it meant we could continue our existence. If it meant we’d be promoted to the next level of divine dickbaggery we’d be willing to do atrocious shit.

If some omnipotent Authority came up to me and ordered me to suck his dick I’d say, ”Why the fuck would I do that?”. If the Authority told me to wipe out a particular group of people and take their women and children for the lulz I’d punch it in the face and tell him, “You piece of shit.” If the Authority told me to systematically kill animals so we could eat meat I’d go about saving as many animals as I could and telling the Authority to go home and eat shit. If the Authority told me I could keep slaves, I’d free every single damn slave I could and ensure their right to freedom, and school the Authority on basic human rights.

If Authority came up to me and ordered me to do something, I’d question it. That would be a nice start.

If I am to die because of my defiant actions against an Authority, then so be it, for I would be leagues above what this Authority ever could be.